


Tug-of-war in my mind

by orphan_account



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Childhood, Drabble, Gen, Nonsense, Snoke - Freeform, Stability, The Force
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-22
Updated: 2016-01-22
Packaged: 2018-05-15 14:11:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5788207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A brief drabble on Ben Solo and why he became Kylo Ren.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tug-of-war in my mind

The light and the dark had inwardly waged war within Ben Solo for as long as he could remember, if he thought about it, it had been his whole life. Ever since he'd realised that the strange power of the Force was within him, his bloodline. From his Uncle, a Jedi, and his Mother who was susceptible to the force to his grandfather, the great Lord Vader.  
In his early years he found everyday had temptations from the light and seduction from the darkness, they tugged him in both directions but he refused to follow either. He was still too young to really understand the Force, or the two apparent sides to it. It had prayed on his mind for so long, but no one ever noticed. It made him withdraw into himself as tried to quieten the tug-of-war that was his mind, this left him slow in development, his social skills lacking.  
He was an awkward child, lonely and in need of love, which was given freely to him in early years before his sensitivity revealed itself. Love stabilised him, his parents comforted him and helped him grow, not fall to either side unknowingly.  
When his sensitivity made itself known fully, his mother was delighted and saddened at once, and told him that he must train with his Jedi Uncle to control his power. That this was important...  
But Ben refused to go, he never wanted his power. He was young, he wanted his family, their compassion.  
Though, he was forced to live with his Uncle where he felt betrayed by his parents, and without their compassion and the trainings of the light thrust upon him, Ben found himself more and more listening in the darkness in his head. Walking from the neutral and light path, finding solace in the dark. Where compassion was not needed, where it was a weakness. He found it helped stabilise himself when he embraced either one of the sides, though the dark pushed away his weaknesses and was fuelled on his underlying pain of betrayal.  
On the day he truly decided to shun the light, a voice whispered to him and persuaded him to listen: it called itself Snoke. Snoke promised power, freedom and Ben's much needed stability, and Ben found himself following it and did what the voice said. He agreed with it, still young, foolish and easily manipulatable.  
The voice calmed him, helped his power develop and one day asked to join him as an apprentice... But he could only do that if he killed all the other Jedi younglings first. That they would stop him reaching stability and power, his potential. He complied, killing all but Skywalker and fleeing to follow the voice in his head.  
He was still a child when he slaughtered the others, and on that day he abandoned unstable Ben Solo and embraced the stability of the dark as Kylo Ren.


End file.
